The Commonplace Book: Drabble: Gearing Up
Varric wearing armour bothers me in ways I can’t begin to express :/
It’s been a long time since Varric buckled on armour. There’s not much call for it in Kirkwall- or at least, he likes to pretend that there isn’t. It’s easier to convince people you’re no threat when you don’t dress like one,…
Varric in armor is certainly… dissonant. But, I imagine when he’s safely home again, he’ll take a good long bath to be rid of the stink of the road and the grit that accumulates weirdly when metal is worn like a full piece of clothing rather than merely an attractive accent for it. And then he’ll start writing.
He’ll put all his favorite long-suffering heroes in truly uncomfortable, heavy plate armor, just to spite them a little. He’ll give his least favorite characters a wicked case of armor rash that drives them to the edge of despair, even on a good day. Or he’ll write something humorous about how even the crankiest of templars would be a lot more relaxed if, like mages, they got to lounge around in their bathrobes all day enjoying the free flow of air in all the hairy, sweaty places that suffer the most when armor’s worn.
(And no, I haven’t read The Silent Grove yet, but I’m hoping there will be a lot more creative new complaints from my favorite dwarf ever.)
Reblogging for excellent commentary :D
